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VERBAL AND NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
Language influences thought, and thus influences the meanings that are conveyed by words. Becoming fluent in a foreign language is a difficult and time-consuming task, but it is essential to gaining intercultural understanding of the society in which that language is spoken. An individual’s perceptions are more important than objective reality in determining the individual’s behavior. These perceptions differ from one culture to another. One of the main propositions of intercultural communication is that culture shapes an individual’s perceptions, and thus behavior.
One of the important intellectual contributions of the Chicago School is a theoretical perspective called symbolic interaction, defined as the theory that individuals act toward objects on the basis of meanings and perceptions that are formed through communication with others. The founder of symbolic interactionism was George Herbert Mead. Mead argued that no one is born with a self (a personality), nor does it develop instinctively. Instead, an individual’s self-conception evolves through talking with others (parents, teachers) during childhood. Mead suggested that human behavior could be understood by learning how individuals give meaning to the symbolic information that they exchange with others. Through such conversations, an individual forms perceptions which then determine actions.
CODE-SWITCHING
Code-switching is the process by which individuals change from speaking one language to another during a conversation. Participants must be equally fluent in at least two languages. Intercultural communication scholars have investigated under what conditions code-switching takes place and its consequences. They have learned that code-switching has complex rules, although it usually happens naturally without the code-switchers being fully aware of why they switch when they do. The language spoken may affect the meanings derived by the conversation partners. For example, two people fluent in both English and Spanish are having a conversation in Spanish. A third person joins them who can only speak English. The conversation rather naturally switches to English. No one states: “Okay, now let’s talk in English”. The change happens naturally. Now let’s assume the speakers do not know the third person who joins them, but they know his name is Jesus Martinez. They could continue speaking Spanish, assuming that Jesus knows the language, until they perceive that he does not comprehend what they are saying. This example illustrates code-switching as a desire to accommodate another participant. Code-switching occurs more frequently in countries where many people are bilingual. Code-switching can be used in the opposite direction of the examples above. If the goal was to send a very different message, code-switching could be used to distance oneself from others. Refusing to communicate in a shared code sends a clear message that the conversation is closed to “strangers”.
TURN-TAKING
One important and necessary behavior in every face-to-face interpersonal exchange is turn-taking, defined as the process through which the participants in a conversation decide who will talk first, next, and so forth. Have you noticed how individuals in a conversation decide who will talk next? Nonverbal clues may be important, such as when an individual looks at the person who is expected to talk next in a conversation. When two people who are talking do not share a common culture, they may misunderstand each other’s subtle clues as to when each should speak. As a result, both individuals may try to talk at the same time, or their discourse may be interrupted by awkward silences. As a consequence of these difficulties with turn-taking, both conversation partners may feel uncomfortable. For instance, when a Japanese and a North American talk in English, a pause of a few seconds’ duration may frequently occur before the Japanese speaker responds.
SELF-DISCLOSURE
Self-Disclosure is the degree to which an individual reveals personal information to another person. An individual may not want to disclose such details as sexual orientation, feelings toward another person who is a mutual friend, or some item of taboo information. Imagine a university student disclosing to another individual that he or she was sexually abused by an adult as a child. Or consider a gay man or woman who comes out of the closet. Such topics are generally not considered acceptable in casual conversation because of social taboos and sanctions. However, individuals may consciously break their silence on these subjects as a political act in order to change these taboos.
Research has been conducted on self-disclosure. Scholars have investigated whether or not women are more likely to disclose personal information about themselves than are men. Generally, personal and social characteristics are not related to the degree of an individual’s disclosure. The personal relationship between two or more individuals, however, does affect self-disclosure, with same- culture intimates. Researchers found that both men and women were more disclosing of descriptive information about themselves while talking with a stranger than with their spouse. The opposite was true when disclosing intimate feelings, which were more likely to be disclosed to a spouse.
When an individual discloses personal information to another, such disclosure encourages reciprocal disclosure by the other party. The feeling of intimacy created by one individual’s personal remarks about himself/herself seems to encourage the other person to disclose personal information.
Cultural factors strongly determine the degree to which self-disclosure is appropriate. Collectivistic cultures are not very disclosing, while individualistic are more self-disclosing. European Americans disclose more personal details about their health, thoughts than do the Japanese or Chinese. This distinction implies that an individual may often not disclose inner feelings to others. Asians believe that self-centered talk is boastful, pretentious, and should be avoided. So when a European American discloses some personal information to an Asian American, the latter feels uncomfortable and does not self-disclose in return.
First choose the correct word for the definitions. Then fill in the blanks in the sentences following the definitions. Note: You may have to change the grammatical form of the word used in the sentence.
Assignment 10
invisible
counterparts
intruded
introverts
associated
threatened
extroverts
accidental
defensively
1. expressed an intention of hurting or punishing _________________
The teacher's_______________didn't mean anything; he never did anything about them.
2. shy, inward people _______________
The_______________young woman was not hired by the public relations firm.
3. connected _______________
The retired professor was_______________with the university for twenty years.
4. forced oneself on others without being asked or welcome __________
The_______________sensed that he was not wanted at the party.
5. happening by chance ______________
The car_______________hit the tree.
6. active and expressive people _______________
Do you have to be an______________to be a comedian?
7. unable to be seen ______________
In some religious schools children are taught that God is ______
8. people or things that correspond to others in form and function; equivalents _______________
The dean of the sociology department felt that his _______________on other campuses were not doing their jobs well.
9. in a manner of feeling attacked and justifying quickly ____________
It is difficult to communicate with people who have _______________attitudes.
CONTENT VERSUS RELATIONSHIP
Communication scholars distinguish between two dimensions of a message:
1) the message content, or what is said;
2) the relationship, or how it is said.
This distinction was originally formulated by Gregory Bateson while observing monkeys playing in the San Francisco zoo. He noticed that one monkey would nip another in a way that looked like real combat, but both monkeys understood that the nip was just in play. Bateson concluded that the bite message must have been preceded by another signal that established a playful relationship between the two monkeys. He called the relationship message metacommunication, that is communication about communication. Humans as well as monkeys, frequently engage in metacommunication. For example, one person is laughing while he makes a very offensive statement to a close friend, who thus understands from the smile that the remark is in jest.
The content versus relationship dimensions of communication are different in different cultures. Collectivistic cultures put greater emphasis upon the relationship aspect of a message. For example, individuals in a collectivistic culture form messages in a way so as not to offend or make another person lose face. Less important is the clarity of the message content because relationships are considered more important. In comparison, individualistic cultures stress message content over the relationship dimension of a message. If someone’s feelings get hurt by a communication message, too bad. Individuals generally feel that effective communication depends on being clear and avoiding ambiguity, although in an individualistic culture there are situations when ambiguous messages are appropriate. For example, a certain degree of ambiguity would be appropriate when an individual refuses an invitation for a date. Explanations such as “I’m too busy” or “I have to study for an exam” are more acceptable than “No, I don’t like you”.
One of the important functions of interpersonal communication is to form and maintain interpersonal relationships (intimate or distant, etc.) culture defines the nature of these relationships between people and their intercultural interpersonal communication. Thus one of the most important dimension of interpersonal relationships, especially in most Asian cultures, is face, defined as the public self-image that an individual wants to present in a particular social context. Face is particularly important for the Japanese, Chinese, and other Asians and Asian Americans who share a collectivistic culture. These individuals are extremely concerned with how they will appear to others around them. They wish to avoid looking foolish or making a social error that could lead to guilt or shame. Much attention is given to maintaining positive interpersonal relationships with peers. In order to help another person maintain face, one should pay compliments, and offer frequent apologies for oneself. One should not criticize Asian persons in public situations, as this act might harm the individual’s face. For example, a North American teaching English as a foreign language in Japan playfully said in class to a favorite student: “You are a lazy student”. The student did not talk to the teacher for the next several weeks and was very hurt by the teacher’s joking comment. The student had lost face.
A distinction can be made between maintaining someone else’s face versus your own. In collectivistic cultures like Asia, the maintenance of other-face predominates. In individualistic cultures, attention to self-face is more important. Yet, face is not unimportant in an individualistic culture like the United States. Bosses are advised to praise their employees publicly but to offer criticism in private.
LISTENING
Communication is a two-way process, for every person speaking there is usually someone who is listening. The receiving role in the communication process is just as important as the sending role, although it has received much less attention from communication scholars.
Most of us are not very effective listeners, because we are passive instead of active listeners. One reason for our inattentiveness while listening is because humans typically speak at about 125 to 150 words per minute, while individuals can listen at a rate of 400 words per minute. During our spare time as a listener, we often let our mind wander to other topics. Such inattentive listening often occurs during lecture classes. Twenty minutes after a lecture, listeners can remember only about half of the message content. One hour after the lecture, remembering drops to 40 percent; one day later this figure is 35 percent, and after two days it is 30 percent. One week after the lecture, listeners can remember 27 percent, and after two weeks, 25 percent. These data reflect the abilities of average individuals.
One principle of listening is to listen through the words in order to detect central themes. A good listener demonstrates attentiveness, does not interrupt, and is cautious in asking questions of the speaker. A listener should control his/her emotions and avoid being distracted. Listening demonstrates caring for the speaker and the topic.
Active listening consists of two steps:
1) hearing, or exposure to the message;
2) understanding, when we connect the message to what we already know;
3) remembering, so that we do not lose the message content;
4) evaluating, thinking about the message and deciding whether or not it is valid;
5) responding, when we encode a return message based on what we have heard and what we think of it.
Cultural factors affect each of these five components of active listening. In many cultures that consider it impolite to ask a speaker a question responding may not be valued, and to disagree would be unthinkable. Many of the difficulties in communication between culturally unalike individuals may be due to cultural factors in listening behavior. It is often problematic as to whether one’s conversation partner is tuned in or not.
Assignment 11
First choose the correct word for the definitions. Then fill in the blanks in the sentences following the definitions. Note: You may have to change the grammatical form of the word used in the sentence.
esteem
formulate
partner
acquaintance
precise
segregation
companion
consoled
1. a person who takes part in an activity with another; one engaged in the same business as another___________________
Unfortunately, the doctor's business ___________________ was unsuccessful and caused the doctor to lose thousands of dollars.
2. clearly expressed; definite; exact__________________
The novelist writes with__________________.
3. a person someone knows___________________.
Most people say “hi” to friends and____________________.
4. one who accompanies or spends time with another; a friend
The older woman never goes anywhere without her
5. to express or reduce to a formula; to express in a systematic way
The student became nervous when trying to____________________ his ideas in front of the teacher.
6. comforted; gave solace___________________
The grieving man was___________________by his daughters.
7. separation; isolation from a group___________________
It is illegal to___________________schoolchildren from each other because of skin color.
8. respect__________________
The student held his professor in high____________________.
CULTURAL VARIATIONS IN LANGUAGE
Which is more important, being a good speaker or a good listener? Is it preferable to be effective at communicating verbally or nonverbally? Is it better to be direct and to the point in communicating. There are cultural variations in how language is used: differences in attitudes toward speech and silence, differences in whether meaning is more in the verbal or nonverbal communication, and differences in communication style.
In some cultural groups speaking is highly-valued. For example, being a good political, business, or religious leader often depends on the ability to express oneself well, to be “quick on one’s feet”. In these cultural groups, a secondary, or less important, mode of communication is listening. And silence is sometimes viewed negatively. For example, people may be embarrassed if there are too many pauses in conversations, or they may feel that they aren’t really connecting with people. Silence also may be associated with being isolated. By contrast, many cultural groups place a primary emphasis on silence and harmony, and a secondary emphasis on speech. Many Japanese have a distrust of verbal skills; the Japanese proverb “You have two ears and one mouth” implies that one should listen twice as much as one speaks. And other Asian cultures share this distrust.
Another way of looking at power and language is to think about the labels we use to refer to other people and ourselves. For example, we might label ourselves or others as “male” or “female” to indicate gender identity. The context in which a label is used may determine how strongly we feel about the label.
Sometimes, people might complain: “Why do we have labels? Why can’t I just be me?” But the reality is, it would be nearly impossible to communicate without labels. Trouble arises, however, from the use of labels that we don’t like or that we feel inaccurately describe us. Think about how you feel when someone describes you by the terms you do not like. Labels communicate many levels of meaning and establish specific relationship between speaker and listener. Sometimes, people use labels to communicate a sense of equality with and affection for another – for example, “friend”, “lover”, or “partner”. Sometimes people use labels that are offensive to others, which reflect the speaker’s ignorance and lack of cultural sensitivity and connection to the other group. For instance, the use of terms such as “Oriental” and “homosexual” communicates negative characteristics about the speaker and establishes distance between speaker and listener. “Oriental” is viewed as negative because it does not refer to any real place and has negative connotations of things exotic and strange; it is better to use “Asian”.
People who speak two languages are considered bilingual; people who speak more than two languages are considered multilingual. Rarely, however, do bilinguals speak both languages with the same level of fluency. More commonly, they prefer to use one language over another, depending on the context and the topic. Sometimes, entire nations are bilingual or multilingual. Belgium, for example, has three national languages: Dutch, German, and French.
Choose the correct word form for each sentence. Make verb tense changes, make nouns singular or plural, and use active or passive voice as applicable.
Assignment 12
1. references, (to) refer, reference
a. Although I searched for hours in the library, I did not find three important___________________that I needed.
b. Where is the___________________book that you told me about?
c. "Please___________________to the back of the book for the bibliography," said the teacher.
2. mobile, mobility
a. Sociologists are studying the high rate of___________________in the United States.
b. The family enjoyed their___________________home because they were able to travel frequently.
3. superficial, superficially, superficiality
a. Professors encourage their students not to do____________________ work.
b. The young woman stopped going out with her boyfriend because she didn't like his___________________.
c. It seemed that the teacher didn't know the answer because she explained it___________________.
4. desire, (to) desire, desirable, desirous
a. It is __________________ to sleep eight hours before taking an exam.
b. After five years in a famous cooking school, he fulfilled his __________________to become a great chef.
c. "You may have whatever you___________________," said the bride to the groom.
d. In the novel the older man had been___________________of the younger woman for several years.
5. socialize, social, socially, sociable
a. The business partners also saw each other___________________.
b. The hostess was not feeling very___________________when her guests arrived.
c. "Don't__________________while you're working," said the boss angrily.
d. What ___________________ activities are available to university students?
6. intensity, intense, (to) intensify, intensely
a. The authors worked with such__________________during the day that they were exhausted at night.
b. The___________________light hurt the drunk man's eyes.
c. Her son was working so___________________that she didn't want to disturb him.
d. His love for his wife___________________when she showed that she trusted him.
7. alternatively, (to) alternate, alternatives, alternate
a. The commander made an____________________plan in case the first one failed.
b. The social worker___________________between loving and hating his work.
c. The student could stay up all night to finish her term paper. ________________, she could do it in the morning.
d. There are___________________to nuclear energy.
NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
Nonverbal Communication is defined as all types of communication that take place without words. As is generally characteristic of anything that is defined as the absence of something else, nonverbal communication includes a very wide range of communication behaviors – everything from a nod, to the wave of a hand, to a wearing a new suit. All of these activities and artifacts transmit meaning, so they are considered to be communication. None involve words, so they are examples of nonverbal communication.
Why is nonverbal communication so important?
1. Nonverbal communication is present everywhere and usually comes first. There is no way to avoid communicating nonverbally. Even the decision not to speak is a message, such as when you do not talk with the person sitting next to you in a bus. In other words, you cannot stop someone from making inferences about your nonverbal behavior, even if you are not intentionally sending a message. This statement is certainly true of nonverbal communication. Much nonverbal communication is unconscious and unintentional.
2. Nonverbal communication usually comes first. Even before individuals open their mouths, they have communicated nonverbally by their posture, their clothing, and so forth. During the initial impressions between two or more people, when there is a high degree of uncertainty in the communication situation, nonverbal communication is particularly important. When strangers meet, nonverbal communication often determines whether or not verbal interaction will occur.
3. Nonverbal communication is especially likely to be trusted. When nonverbal communication contradicts verbal communication, nonverbal communication wins out. Because it is difficult for individuals to control their nonverbal messages, such messages are perceived as more valid. It is difficult to lie nonverbally. However, under certain circumstances, even nonverbal communication can be deceptive. Facial expressions, for example, are carefully watched in card games in order to determine if a card player is bluffing.
4. Nonverbal communication can lead to misunderstanding, especially when verbal messages are missing or limited. If two participants in a communication situation do not share the same meaning for a nonverbal symbol, the results will be miscommunication. The “language” of nonverbal symbols differs from culture to culture, just as verbal language does.
5. Nonverbal communication is especially important to intercultural communication situations. When verbal and nonverbal communication are redundant, misunderstandings are less likely to occur. Each type of communication can reinforce the other. When the verbal fluency of the communication participants is limited, nonverbal reinforcement may clarify the intended meaning.
Participants in a communication process adapt to each other’s speaking style – for example, by leaning forward, matching the other’s speech rate, assuming a similar posture, using similar gestures, or pronouncing words with the same accent. If a communicator rejects the style of the other as culturally inappropriate – for example, by leaning away, intentionally slowing the speech rate, or assuming an uninviting posture – the flow of communication is interrupted. Edward Hall stated:” People in interactions move together in a kind of dance, but they are not aware of their synchronous movement”. He found that each culture has its own characteristic manner of sitting, standing, reclining and gesturing. Most people are unaware when these are happening. When they become aware, they are unable to pay attention to anything else. When someone from a low-context culture interacts with someone from a high-context culture, the rhythms are likely to be very different and may create such discomfort that communication is jeopardized.
Culture establishes standards for nonverbal behavior. We often have an involuntary reaction to someone violating our expectations about personal space. Our culture specifies behaviors that invite or discourage interaction. We learn nonverbal signals that indicate another person is receptive to being approached – for example, smiling, and eye contact. If we use those same cues in interaction with someone from another culture, we could be quite startled by the response. If our expectations are not met, we will probably evaluate the other person negatively based on behavior that conforms to a culture different from our own.
There are seven types of nonverbal communication: kinesics and other body movements, space, time, touch, voice, artifacts, and physical appearance.
BODY MOVEMENTS
Kinesics is a type of nonverbal communication that involves body movement and activities (also called body language). The four main types of kinesic communication are: emblems, illustrators, regulators, affect displays.
Emblems are body movements that can be translated into words and that are used intentionally to transmit a message. One type of emblem that is particularly important, perhaps ranking second only to facial expressions, is hand gestures. People talk with their hands. Hand gestures like the thumbs up or the thumb and forefinger circle (okay) sign, the palm outward gesture (silence, or stop), and circling a forefinger near one’s head (crazy) all have a widely understood meaning in the United States. But the meanings of these emblems may be quite different in another nation. For example, the thumb and forefinger circle is a sign for the sex act in some Latin American nations. So hand gestures can be very confusing interculturally. As with verbal language, nonverbal codes are not universal. There are gender differences as well as cultural differences in hand gestures. An emblem unique to Japanese women is the hand held in front of the mouth when smiling or laughing. People from the United States perceive this gesture as girlish, polite, and cute. Only women in Japan cover their mouth when smiling. Men never do.
In addition to hand gestures, head movements can also communicate nonverbally. Like hand movements, head movements differ from one culture to another. In India the head gesture for a positive response to a question is a sideways movement which is perceived by most non-Indians as a head shake meaning no. But after visiting India for a period of time, the typical foreigner is likely to have picked up the sideways head nod. When the person returns to the home country and uses shaking the head sideways to mean yes, further confusion occurs. In Turkey, an up-and-down movement of the head conveys a negative rather than a positive expression.
Illustrators are a type of kinesic behavior that accompanies what is said verbally. Hand and body gestures are a natural part of speaking for most individuals. Illustrators include gesturing with one’s hands, smiling or frowning. They are particularly noticeable when an individual is giving directions to a certain place. Illustrators differ from emblems in that they cannot be translated into words.
Regulators are kinesic behaviors that control turn-taking and other procedural aspects of interpersonal communication. A practical necessity in every conversation is to determine who is going to speak first, next, and so on. This process of turn-taking is mainly an unconscious process. Sometimes problems occur, such as when two or more people talk at once and no one can be understood. Usually this behavior occurs when individuals are excited or angry. In most conversations, turn-taking proceeds smoothly because of regulators like the turn of a head, gaze, and other body movements.
Gaze is an important type of regulator. A speaker who maintains eye contact with members of the audience is perceived as a forceful presenter in the United States. But direct eye contact with elders is perceived as disrespectful by some Native Americans and in Asian cultures like Japan. It is extremely impolite to gaze at one’s grandparent’s eyes. Japanese children are taught to gaze at their grandparent’s Adam’s apple instead. Appropriate gazing behavior can have important consequences in certain communication situations.
Affect displays are kinesic behaviors that express emotions. Facial expressions are one of the most important ways of communicating meaning to another person. For example, surprise is conveyed by arching the eyebrows, opening the eyelids so that the white of the eye shows. In contrast, the emotion of fear is shown by raising the eyebrows and drawing them together, while tensing the lips and drawing them back. Disgust is conveyed by wrinkling the nose, lowering the eyebrows, and raising the upper lip. The facial expressions for anger, happiness, and sadness are generally universal across all cultures, but other emotions are expressed differently depending on particular cultural constraints. Rules for expressing emotions vary depending on the culture. All cultures have display rules telling members when it is appropriate to show emotion and when to hide it. Affect displays can occur via crying, laughing, and even by one’s posture.
Space.Proxemics is nonverbal communication that involves space. The word Proxemics derives from the same Latin root as proximity, implying that one dimension of space is how close or distant two or more people are located. How physically close or distant two people stand when they talk tells a great deal about their relationship. A distance of only eight to thirteen inches between males, for example, is considered very aggressive. When a European American talks with a Latin American, the former feels that the Latin American is uncomfortably “pushy” or trying to be intimate, while the Latin American perceives the person from the United States as cold and remote. Arabic people from the Middle East do no9t feel that someone is friendly unless they are standing close enough to smell the garlic on the other’s breath. Clearly, there are strong cultural differences in perception of the appropriate space between people involved in interpersonal communication.
People are often unaware that their culture has assigned meaning to the distances between communicators. Even if we are aware that cultures have different definitions of appropriate spacing, our emotions often override that information. Proxemics conveys a very important message about interpersonal relationships, but the definitions are culture-bound. In the United States, a smaller social distance indicates intimacy and communicates a close personal relationship. In other cultures, one cannot use the same standards to interpret relationships.
When people are forced by a building, a room, or other constraints to stand at a distance closer than their culture would indicate is appropriate for conversation, they seldom talk. For example, have you ever observed communication among people on a crowded elevator? They generally avoid eye contact, remain silent, and tense their bodies. Touching another person, even accidentally, is embarrassing and leads to an apology.
Space affects human communication in many other ways. For instance, whether or not individuals remain behind their desks when visitors enter their offices is an unstated message about friendliness or formality. Classroom arrangements of desks and chairs can determine how much discussion takes place in a class. A circular arrangement generally encourages discussion, while sitting in rows often discourages student participation.
Religious values may affect spatial arrangements. For example, the Navajo always build their hogans (six- or eight-sided one-story structures) facing east, in order to face the rising sun. According to traditional beliefs, a Navajo should begin the day by running toward the sun. Islamic people believe that the main entrance of important buildings should face in the direction of Mecca.
Space also affects who talks to whom. For example, employees in an office whose desks are located closer are more likely to communicate. Families who live in neighboring homes are more likely to become friends than those who live farther away, even though the spatial difference may be negligible. New communication technologies like the Internet may overcome the effect of spatial distance on the frequency of communication. E-mail effectively removes spatial barriers whether two people are working in adjoining buildings or are located across the world from each other.
Time. Another important dimension of nonverbal communication is time. Chronemics is the way in which time affects communication. The amount of time elapsed before being considered late for an appointment varies widely from culture to culture. The Japanese are extremely prompt in meeting with someone at an appointed time. It is considered very rude to keep someone waiting even for several minutes. Many Japanese students have never been late for a class. In contrast, individuals in Latin America and the Middle East are extremely relaxed about punctuality.
The length of time for a certain type of communication may also be culturally determined. Let’s take the following example. An American was invited by officials in a Japanese advertising agency to a 10.00 a.m. meeting at their office in Tokyo. The topic was interesting, and the discussions were exciting. But after 11.00 a.m., the visitor noticed that he was the only one talking. The Japanese officials seemed to have lost any interest in the discussion. Later, he learned that the appointment had been pre-set for one hour. Because Japan is a high-context culture, this point was not explained to the visitor. It was assumed that he knew. The Japanese officials had other appointments at 11.00 a.m.
Time can be organized into technical, formal, and informal components. Scientists developed the atomic clock to be the most accurate available; time is measured by the vibration of electrons in atoms. Formal time involves the process of separating units of time into days, weeks, and months. In the United States, formal time is used for precise appointments: government hearings, court dates, job interviews. Informal time in the same culture has a more loosely defined (within limits) approximation: 8.00 can mean anywhere between 8.00 and 8.15 to 8.50. Informal time involves attitudes about punctuality within a culture.
Symbolic uses of time can be related to a person’s or culture’s orientation. In the West, time is viewed as a linear progression from the past, to the present, to the future. Other cultures do not segment events the same way. Some cultures have a reverence for past experience; they value precedent and reject the present as untested. Other cultures have a future orientation – visions of how life will be. Others find both looking backward and forward irrelevant – the present is what counts.
Language can reveal a culture’s attitudes towards time. In the United States we “spend” time; “time is money”; and we ask if we can “have some of your time?”
Touch. Haptics is nonverbal communication that involves touching. Individuals within a culture vary as to the degree to which they touch while speaking, and there are important differences in touching from culture to culture. Touching is usually intended to convey warmth, caring, and other positive emotions; but it may be playful or show irritation. Hugging or kissing as a greeting conveys intimacy.
A set of cultural conventions guides who may touch whom, under what conditions, and where to touch. For instance, same-sex touching in the United States is more permissible than cross-sex touching. Male-to-male touching is much less frequent (except in sports) than female-to-female touching, perhaps out of fear that such touching might be perceived as indicating a sexual preference. The difference is the displays of touching are not only gender based, they are also determined by status. In business, higher-status employees generally initiate touch; lower-status employees are less likely to do so since the behavior could be interpreted as assuming a familiarity which does not exist.
Shaking hands is an example of differing cultural perceptions. In the United States, a moist handshake transmits a message that the individual is nervous or anxious. Most people in that culture think that a firm handshake is appropriate, and that a weak handshake is wimpy. In India, where handshaking is not practiced very widely as a form of greeting, a rather limp handshake is culturally appropriate. Indians generally greet each other by holding their palms together in front of their chest. In Korea and in Mali a person touches his/her right forearm with the left hand while shaking hands. Moroccans kiss the other person’s hand while shaking. Islamic men may greet each other by embracing and kissing first on one cheek and then on the other. Thais greet each other with a wai (pronounced “wi”), which is executed by placing the hands together in a praying position in front of the chest. Japanese people greet each other with a bow. The depth of the bow depends on the other person’s status. Bows entail bending at the waist at about 30 degrees, 45 degrees, 90 degrees, depending on the relative status of the other person. One should not rise from the bow until the person of higher status has risen. The arms should be at the sides while bowing and one should gaze downward. A common greeting between a Japanese person and a foreigner is to bow while shaking hands.
Voice. Paralanguage is vocal communication other than the verbal content. In addition to loudness, paralanguage includes the speed of speaking, accent, tone. Often, hearing a stranger’s voice (in a telephone conversation, for example) is sufficient to guess the person’s gender, ethnic group, age. Voice is a means by which individuals can be identified nonverbally.
Loudness of voice when speaking is another type of nonverbal communication. Generally, we speak more loudly when we are more distant from the person we are addressing or when we are in a public speaking situation, such as in a classroom. Males often speak more loudly than females. Asians generally speak softly, with Asian women speaking even more softly than men. Most Thais speak very softly, and it is considered good manners to do so. In Arabic nations, males speak loudly in order to indicate sincerity. North Americans consider this volume aggressive. A Saudi Arabian also lowers his voice in order to show respect for a superior. Emotions such as anger, excitement, or enthusiasm may be conveyed by speaking in a loud voice.
Artifacts and Physical Appearance. Artifacts include an individual’s clothing, lipstick, wedding ring, eyeglasses, and personal possessions like an attaché case or an expensive sports car. The clothing that one wears is an important message in a communication situation. For instance, individuals often ask, when invited to a party or some other event, whether they should dress casually or formally. In this instance, people want to know how other guests will be dressed.
Sometimes artifacts are selected for the opposite effect. Younger generations often choose clothing specifically because their parents find it inappropriate. Artifacts make statements. They can communicate belonging or independence. The most uniform dress, conforming precisely with one culture’s norms, might be considered outlandish or inappropriate in another culture. Body ornamentation – including tattoos, piercing, or painting – is culturally or co-culturally based.
Physical appearance is another type of nonverbal communication. Rule-governed cultural preferences dictate the elements of appearance that are considered physically attractive. Physical beauty is more important to U.S. men in dating situations than is male physical attractiveness to women, who prefer intelligence, an outgoing personality, and a man who is considerate. For either gender, however, physical attractiveness is an advantage in interpersonal communication. Physically attractive individuals, particularly women, have higher self-esteem. In the United States, youth is valued over age. Cosmetics can mask the effects of the aging process and have a positive effect on self-image. Physical appearance is especially important during first impressions between strangers.
Assignment 13
Choose the word that best defines the italicized word.
1.The executive and his family relocated five times in three years.
a. succeeded
c. lost
b. profited
d. moved
2. Each year the two friends wrote to each other less and less and eventually their friendship faded.
a. appeared gradually
c. disappeared slowly
b. appeared suddenly
d. ended quickly
3. Her work schedule determined the duration of their trip.
a. location
c. cost
b. enjoyment
d. length
4. The building could not withstand the earthquake because the foundation was poorly designed.
a. base
c. furniture
b. lighting
d. roof
5. The couple attributed their enduring love to their complete trust in each other.
a. jealous
c. lasting
b. dying
d. passionate
6. A positive outlook is necessary for a happy life.
a. personality
c. answer
b. thinker
d. attitude
7. A friendship which is transient may last, for example, 3 days, 3 weeks or 3 months.
a. not permanent
c. permanent
b. active
d. not important
8. The woman became irritated when the strange man began pursuing her.
a. confusing
c. staring at
b. following
d. leading
9. Brief encounters do not always result in further contact.
a. successes
c. arrangements
b. parties
d. meetings
10. The president terminated the meeting early.
a. cancelled
c. ended
b. began
d. continued
11. Because the worker progressed steadily, the boss was pleased.
a. poorly
c. slowly
b. quickly
d. continuously
12. They dated each other exclusively for two years.
a. only
c. slowly
b. happily
d. rapidly
13. Sometimes parents encourage their teenage children to have multiple dating partners.
a. several
c. younger
b. hundreds of
d. older
COMPARING VERBAL AND NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
Both verbal and nonverbal communication are symbolic, both communicate meaning, and both are patterned – that is, are governed by rules that are determined by particular contexts and situations. And as different societies have different spoken language, so they have different nonverbal languages. However, there are some important differences between nonverbal and verbal communication in any culture. Let’s look at the following example of these differences. The incident happened to Judith when she was teaching public speaking to a group of Japanese teachers of English. She explained how to write a speech and gave some tips for presenting the speech. The teacher seemed attentive, smiling and nodding. But when the time came for them to present their own speeches, she realized that they had many questions about how to prepare a speech and had not really understood the explanations. What she learned was that it is customary for students in Japan not to speak up in class unless they are called upon. In Japan a nod means that one is listening – but not necessarily that one understands. As this example illustrates, rules for nonverbal communication vary among cultures and contexts.
When misunderstandings arise, we are more likely to question our verbal communication than our nonverbal communication. We can use different words to explain what we mean, or look up words in a dictionary, or ask someone to explain unfamiliar words. But it is more difficult to identify and correct nonverbal miscommunication or misperception.
Whereas we learn rules and meanings for language behavior in grammar and spelling lessons, we learn nonverbal meanings and behavior more unconsciously. No one explains: “When you talk with someone you like, lean forward, smile, and touch the person frequently, because that will communicate that you really care about him or her”. In the United States, for example, this behavior often communicates positive meanings. But if someone does not display this behavior, we are likely to react quite differently.
Sometimes we learn strategies for nonverbal communication. For example, you may have been taught to shake hands firmly when you meet someone, or you may have learned that a limp handshake indicates a person with a weak character. Likewise, many young women learn to cross their legs at the ankles and to keep their legs together when they sit. In this sense, we learn nonverbal behavior as part of being socialized about appropriate behavior.
Nonverbal behavior can reinforce, substitute for, or contradict verbal behavior. When we shake our heads and say “no”, we are reinforcing verbal behavior. When we point instead of saying “over there”, we are substituting nonverbal behavior for verbal communication. Nonverbal communication operates at a more subconscious level, thus we tend to think that people have less control over their nonverbal behavior. Therefore, we often think of it as containing the “real” message. Have you ever received a compliment from someone you thought was not being sincere? You may have thought the person insincere because her nonverbal communication contradicted the spoken words. Perhaps she did not speak very forcefully or was not smiling very much. Perhaps she was giving other nonverbal clues indicating that she did not really mean she was saying. As was already mentioned above, nonverbal behavior sends relational messages and communicates status and deception. Although language is effective at communicating specific information, nonverbal communication often communicates relational messages about how we really feel about the person, and so on. For example, when you first meet someone, he may say, “Glad to meet you”, but he also communicates nonverbally how he feels about you. He may smile, make direct eye contact, and mirror your body language – all very positive messages in U.S. culture. Or perhaps he does not make direct eye contact, does not smile, and does not give any other nonverbal cues that indicate enthusiasm. One difficulty is that nonverbal clues are not always easy to interpret. And it is dangerous to assume that, every time someone doesn’t smile or make direct eye contact, he is communicating lack of interest. It may be that he is preoccupied, and his nonverbal message is not meant the way you interpret it.
READING
When in Tokyo …
Businessman Freddie Marsh knows how to behave abroad. In Ethiopia, he arrives an hour late for meetings; in Egypt he holds hands with his business colleagues. After doing business for 24 hours in more than 80 countries, Marsh has become an expert in foreign etiquette. Once a consultant on exports for The United Nations and foreign governments, he lectures all over the world on the dos and don`ts of business travel.
“I teach the sort of things that businessmen should avoid in order not to give offense in a country,” says Britisher Marsh, “and what they should do to give a better impression”. While his guidelines do not guarantee the clinching of a deal, they certainly put the businessman one step ahead of his competitors. Here, in his words, is Marsh`s quick round-the-world guide:
JAPAN
Never go to Japan without an enormous wad of business cards. And make sure the cards are translated into Japanese, because in Japan the business or visiting card is studied very carefully. At a convention or meeting with a managing director, it is no use just flipping your card across the table. You should take more care and present your card before the meeting. This gives your contact more time to study the details and to see what position you occupy in the business hierarchy. And then when you are introduced, you must bow. The amount of bowing you do is determined by your position. But whether you are a typist or a manager, the golden rule is: if someone bows, you bow back.
When it comes to negotiating, the Japanese never say no. They will find 101 different ways to say yes, but this does not mean “Yes, we agree to your terms”; it means “Yes, we hear what you are saying.”
There is a strong feeling of saving face in Japan; they just do not like to upset people by saying no. So don`t put all of your cards on the table, or you might find you haven`t got the deal after all.
Advertising can also confuse the Japanese. A food company had little success promoting its spaghetti sauce with a promise that its flavor was genuinely Italian. This promise was meaningless to most Japanese people, who could not even find Italy on a map of the world.
Finally, avoid doing business on the fourth of the month. In Japan the number four is very unlucky, because the word for four also means death.
CHINA
You may be relieved to hear that there are no lingering after-dinner speeches in China. Lots of little toasts are given throughout the meal, but once the meal is over, people leave. And be careful where you sit. The host and chief guest are always seated at the spot farthest away from the door.
And once again, be careful with your advertising campaigns. The slogan “Come Alive with the Coca-Cola Generation” must have caused a few giggles, because when translated into Chinese it meant, “Coca-Cola brings your ancestors back to life.”
THE MIDEAST
Body language is vital in all Arab countries. People sit much closer together there, because being able to feel and smell other people`s breath is considered desirable. No matter what your business contact ate the night before, if you back away you are giving the wrong signals and will appear unfriendly. And never arrive at your business meeting on time. This is very rude. And once seated, never show the soles of your feet. This is regarded as unclean, and you will offend your host.
Doing business during the festival of Ramadan, when everyone fasts from dawn to dusk, can also cause problems: most people are not in the mood for negotiating on an empty stomach.
I once went into an office in Egypt and saw a man`s head bobbing up and down behind a settee. I went up and tapped him on the shoulder and asked whether he was okay, but this did not go down very well because he was in the middle of saying his prayers. So remember: in the Middle East, business hours are very different. Sometimes you will be expected to take the hand of your business associate. If this happens, either adhere to the custom or politely explain that in your country men never hold hands, so you would like to please be excused.
AFRICA
Entertaining in Africa can be very frustrating at first. If you invite people for dinner at 8 p.m., they may arrive at 9 or even 9:30. The same goes for business. No one ever arrives at a meeting on time. But how late you arrive depends on your status, so check this first before you roll up two hours late.
In Malaysia if you are a man, your hair should be short: if you are a woman, avoid wearing trousers. But there is nothing wrong with turning up for meetings in a magnificent native robe.
Comprehension
Answer the questions:
a) Why is Freddie Marsh well-suited to advising businessman wishing to make deals abroad?
b) What does he try to teach them?
c) What is the golden rule about owing in Japan?
d) Why do the Japanese never say “no” and what do their 101 ways saying “yes” mean?
e) Why is it not a good idea to do business on the fourth of the month in Japan?
f) Why did the Coco Cola slogan cause giggles in China?
g) What behavior is considered rude and/or unfriendly in the Middle East?
h) And which custom is sometimes expected to be adhered to?
i) What is the African attitude to time-keeping?
SPEAKING
Read the extracts to suggest that you would do or say if you were faced with these situations. What particular cultural value is being described in both of these extracts?
Situation 1
Efficiency
One of you colleagues is from the United States of America and he is having problems adjusting to what he calls “unprofessionalism” in the working place. He complains about how inefficient people are: they don`t come to meetings on time; they come very late to appointments with him or they make him wait a long time when he has an appointment with them; when he is meeting with someone, that person will tale telephone calls or talk to people who drop by and interrupt the conversation. “That is not the way to do business,” he told you yesterday. Apparently he has complained to other people in your office as well, for just today some of them have come to you to complain about him. You are his closest friend in the office. What should you do?
Situation 2
Caregiver
A nurse works in an elderly-care home in Canada where you are the nursing supervisor. Her work habits are beginning to bother a lot of people, including several physicians and numerous residents. The latter complain that she is always late for her tasks, whether it`s bothering them, helping them to the toilet, or taking them down to the dining room at mealtime. They say she`s too friendly by which they mean she spends too much time chattering with people (who nevertheless appreciate it a lot, and this puts her behind the schedule. Physicians and other nurses complain that she`s late to meetings and often reports late to work, which means someone on the shift before hers has to stay on until she arrives. Everyone likes this woman – she`s outgoing and very compassionate – but she can be exasperating when it comes to managing her time. What is your next move?
CHAPTER 4